.....

i guess people would be blogging about the emaths paper we just did. i shant. coz it was an insult to my intelligence. hahaha. kidding. it was a really easy paper. i could have done it with one eye closed.

i have all these plans for the future. but wonder if i'll die tml and leave them in my head, where no one can seem them. isnt it a waste? now, everybody wants to be outstanding. everybody has thoughts. thats why everyone (okay, maybe not everyone) has blogs. but do u wonder if people actually read wad u wrote? hmm. *ponders for a moment*. will more people actually find out about the inner workings of your mind (or the facade u put on for the sake of fellow bloggers) or is it going to be the same old circle of people reading your thoughts over and ovar and ovar againe. (oops bad speeeling) (that was intentional) (i mean it) (i really do!!)
so anyway. i do a little blog hopping. some i cannot understand coz they in a diff language (although i know they can be translated, well, i cant be bothered) some, well the english is so bad i feel like taking a bright red marker and then circling the errors but then my monitor will become extremely dirty. no. beyond salvation. yes thats the word. phrase. ... wadeva. anyway, the point is. you write and write and write. but do pple read it? if they dont, den dont u get demoralised? hmmm...

okay. i admit it. i am going to admit it unabashedly (is that a real word? dun tell me). i have fallen in love with a distant figure. yes! i do not know wad he is like. no idea at all. he is much much older than me. he probably isnt gonna come to my part of the earth and me to his part of the earth. i have no idea about any other aspect of his life except for the club he plays and the goals he scored. i dont even know if he is married. yet. i love him. (i feel like orsino!) yesh! the thing is, he aint that popular in this part of the world because all the media cares about is the EPL. and because of that, theres no site dedicated to the club except for the official club. and as such, all i see in his profile is his sporting career stuff. ( i hope i am ambiguous enough) and being not well-known has a sucky side to it. firstly, THERES NOWHERE I CAN GO TO FIND ANY INFO ABOUT HIM. usually, i'd content myself with any itty bitty info about my infatuations but since there are none for this particular person, i thought of contacting the site admin. MY! i even comtemplated doing my further studies there, to be near to him. hahaha. slap me someone. but then again, being not well known means i can have him all to myself to be gushed and blushed at. he's not some david beckham every woman desires. he's mine!! u cant have him!! he's mine, i tell you!! i found myself smiling stupidly at the desktop i have. i had laboriously collected pictures of him and pasted it all over my desktop. SMILING STUPIDLY!!! that has never happened before! why? why?

enough said. i shall wallow in my depression until panic kicks in an i come to my senses and cram for my art and history... MAN!!! i wish that they had put amaths with art. history is so... ugh!! have to study and do so much just before and after hari raya. Sucks!