i am having a headache

i really do. theres so much to think about.

oklah, its not so much about the jae thingy.

ok.. nevermind.... i have decided wad i am going to do liao... =D wahahaha... shall confirm with mommy....

if she doesnt agree with me, then u'll see another post above this one.
theres a lot of things i wanna say. and find a solution to resolve those issues. but really.... i dont really think anyone can help me. its like trying to batter a wall down and just getting ur hands bloody. u tried all kinds of ways to get thru but got no way through...

haiyah. Michael Tay is right.... i shouldnt worry about so many things. unfortunately, i am doing so.

so many things in my head. kinda personal too. and i tink i am going to die if ppl really knows wads going in my mind rite now.

like, things get complicated and i come to weird conclusions.(the reason why i cant write blardie argumentative essays)

i get so affected by the two sides of the argument that, sumtimes, i cannot decide which side to fight for. i think, i am sure as hell to fail general paper. no matter how much i read and find out, there'll always be new facts from the opposition to shake my beliefs. i feel like a shaky pillar. a fat one. but the emphasis is on 'shaky'.

i realise that life is quite empty. in the end, everyone dies anyway... and how long can ur loved ones weep for you? sooner or later, they'll forget u. wad u leave behind is more important than u, like, inheritance(harhar) and perhaps memories that linger until the vessel dies.

what do i have in my future that i am looking forward to? more hard work,i guess. work for 'a' levels, work for degree, work for money for parents and yourself, work for family, work for riddance of boredom. WORK. its a big word, i'd say.

maaaan... i really miss the times when i was a kid. every evening, i would troop off to the playground with my brother in tow, and play! homework? yah... two pages of maths workbook took 5 minutes. compositions were a mere 100 words and consisted of lines like ' i have a cat. my cat is black. he is a boy cat. his name is Boyboy. every day, i give him fish to eat.' complete with gigantic capital letters and gigantic ful-stops and commas that looked like tadpoles.

ahhh. those were the days where i can ace anything without studying.
NOw have to mug.

you know, when i entered the school, sumone told me that nj was a mugger school. i remembered thinking "oh maaaan, nj admin suck money isit?" because mug also means to rob. then, on one fine day, i realised that it refers to studying assiduously as i sat surrounded by classmates who were completing their assignments in the library while i was reading a magazine and listening to ROCK!

yup... mugger-ism thrives in NJC.

but i have no complaints. i would rather have someone pay me to study (like the way my parents are supporting me now) rather than to trudge into the WORLD to earn my own keep. i would rather mug and mug and be a no-lifer then have to deal with a working life. i mean, think about it. we dont have to worry so much about where the next meal is coming from because our parents are providing for us. now, imagine that ur pay check is delayed and u have totally no money nor food. wad the hell u are going to eat? u cant even go to ur parent's coz that would require a bus or train fare.

no money....

its really scary.

i cant believe i typed so much. have to go off now, coz got soccer training tml morning at 0630hrs.

NOT ENOUGH SLEEP!

ciao