do i exist?

thats wad mr chia asked us on friday. how do we know we exist?

that was just another question to drive me to insanity. haha. anyway, havent been blogging much. havent been online much. i finally have a decent amount of work done after slogging for almost two whole days doing tutorials and assignments. yep. weekends have never been the same after going to njc.

i realise that i cant really do work during free periods. thats because i dont have free periods and during the pittance of free times i have is spent stoning. i like stoning. stoning rocks.

anyway, i am supposed to be finishing my art assignment, the drawing. i am much more happier with this compared to the shit i drew on my first attempt. haha.

my main computer crashed so the computer in my room has been made the main computer. thus it has moved to another room. wad an inopportune(sp shit) time. i had just repaired my speakers u noe. i did it myself then it had to shift. i wanna listen to music as i do work u noe. but now, my work and the computer is in separate rooms. haiyah.

and because of the shift of my computer, i have to reinstall the printer and scanner drivers and i have no idea if the speakers here work. maaan. theres one computer less now, and so, i am sure my sis will hog it. stupid messenger wont work. so for now, i am gonna be virtually offline. anyway, even when i go online, there isnt much i can do anyway. the people i like to chat with are rarely online or when they are, they are busy doing stuff.

anyway, was reading my friend's blog entry and he was saying that he feels like his life is about waiting for something, perhaps death. i have been thinking about this issue since i cant remember when. i remember thinking about various animal lifespans. some of their lives are so short that i often wonder, do they see a point in living? can u imagine if the average lifespan of a human being is a year? or perhaps shorter? how would our lives be different? these animals only live long enough to reach sexual maturity and reproduce. is that wad humans are supposed to do to? so how come we continue living long after reaching maturity? are we supposed to chase wealth all our life? if that is so, wad about the tribal, rural people. are their lives a waste then? they dont go after money or other possesions but they can still live comfortably, according to their standards. wad then?

i often wonder wad my life is going to be like. after jc? then uni? then job? then wad? get married and have kids? then? is that the end? is that all i am going to get out of life? people die everyday.wad makes their death so significant? like the Pope who recently kicked the bucket. wad was his life like? is he happy with the way his life had ended? is he satisfied with himself, with wad he has done?

so many questions. no answers.

theres also the issue of the new class. the new 05s08. only a pathetic number of the oldies remains after the shuffling and stuff. i kinda miss the old 05s08. the dynamism we operated with is much, much more appealing to me. now, when i try to approach the class, there isnt much reaction. i miss the old concoction of people in my class, but then, i wonder. do they miss it too? i guess its different stories with different people. there are only 6 guys in the class and the rest are girls. thats 22 females. not very balanced. hmm. i hope the girls can bond faster and i hope the guys will get together too. and i hope to God that the guys wont detach themself from the class and not mix with the girls.

i am feeling quite happy. my wish has been granted! sherinah should know wad i am talking about. yay! its about the tutors we got for various lessons. wee! at least, there is something i can hang on to for the rest of the year. people may not see the reason why i am so happy, well... they are not me, are they? i am just glad that some people are still in my class. yay! sok huang! yay! sherinah! yay! and et cetera. i realise i have to get back to work. if not, i wont be able to sleep tonight. ahah.

till next time. bubbye