today is a saturday

and today was the last match of the soccer season. i hopped around some of the other girl's blogs and i saw that they all feel very sad that the season has come to an end.

i do too. i am quite sad that i'll not get to hang out with the j2s anymore. chee may with her sweet smile everytime we tease her. christine with her lame ass comments and the mud baths. and kak nissa with her neverending encouragement and her funny-ass comments all the time. i have to say that i truly will miss them when they start mugging for their prelims and a's.

they went to sentosa after the match. i tot i wud go back to sch to have a look see ard the art club meeting. but they wrapped things up already so i arranged to meet eddie at PS.

i regret not going to sentosa but i do not like leaving eddie alone. besides, i wasnt feeling too great. was just moping about. and ade (bless her heart) tried to get me to talk about it.

the thing is, i cant.

i have to 'exorcise my own demons'.

during art history lesson yesterday, we learnt about edvard munch. he painted 'the scream' which was the painting that gave us the inspiration for our 'eiuuuu'. he was such a sad man. lived a sad life and painted these paintings that were so emotive and abit scary, if u ask me.

anyway, ms lu mentioned that he painted so as to exorcise his own demons. to express himself and his emotions.

*shit i cant remember the point i wanted to make*

oh ya.

i tink i have to exorcise my own demons and fight my own battles alone. Eddie has been a very good friend. Even more than good at times but i guess there are some things that u cant just share with another person and it will disappear. it just doesnt work that way. if you dont deal with it, it will come back and haunt you. (and no, i am not capitalising on the fact that it IS seventh month now.)

I guess i have to sort out my thoughts sometime soon. Its not good when u are too flexible. you bend and comply to people around you so much that in the end, when two parties need you, you do not know which to compromise with.

when i think that i am a complicated person, sometimes i get the niggling feeling that perhaps i am not that complicated at all. just too aimless and backboneless.