procastination

Today, I would like to share my thoughts on procastination. (I would like to digress: No one reads my blog anymore!) Procastination is the bane of a student's life. I have often heard friends exclaiming "Oh! I should really stop procastinating. I have so much things to do."

I hate that word anyway. It brings guilt. What's there to feel guilty about when you are relaxed, chatting with friends and possibly playing a computer game or two? Here I am, happily tapping away at my keyboard until I remember that I am supposed to be editing my PW group's powerpoint slides. Minute changes. Stupid changes. Like Samuel's insistence on the omision of a particular segment. Like the change of mascot logo. Like slide background changes. Minor, petty changes.

I have a load of sewing to do. I have to settle next year's ARTS FEST which i dont see others caring about, safe for a minute group. I really have to catch up on my chemistry and physics. I'll SHOW THEM WHAT I AM MADE OF! GRAAAWR! (temporary burst of insanity)

But what am I doing? I am happily tapping away on this keyboard, ranting on and on about what I should be doing and not moving my ass to actually get going.

Sometimes, I really hate myself. But its more of my lack of motivation, or rather, my inability to motivate myself. My grey cells just refuse to listen to that tiny little voice saying "You can do it!!" It would be so much easier if I was schizophrenic. I just had basketball training, my first after the Raya hols. Running 2.4km after a long (VERY VERY long) period of inactivity is a killer. (okay, fine, I am still alive and tapping but cut me some slack will you?) I was having stitches by the time I reached the 200m mark. Yes. Long periods of inactivity does that to you. And the sun was frikkinly blaring its rays lah. Purposely one, I tell you! But I will not complain about that. Anyway, the last two rounds were hell. I was having little conversations with myself. It went like "Come on Aini! You can do it! Last 2 rounds! Sprint to that mark then you can slow down." "Shut up, my stitches hurt. God! What did I do to deserve this." and bla bla bla. Went back and forth, but I did not get any faster.

I just refuse to listen to positive motivation. I can't understand why.

So.. yah.. i wish that p-word doesnt exist.

i want to rant somemore... but i am tired as a girl who went for her first training in months. yes.

that girl is me. go figure!

i want to watch emily rose on pirated cd. u see... pirated cd got the dark and murky quality, quite fitting for a horror story, if u ask me. if u had watched The Eye on the bigscreens(read:movies) i invite u to watch the same movie on pirated cd and hopefully, you'll get my drift.

and that was Aini's random thought of the day. totally out of the blue and takde link with the rest of the story